Skipping Dessert … and taking the stairs

“Son of man, look with your eyes, and hear with your ears, and set your mind upon all that I shall show you”

(Yes, the quote is sexist.  Let’s move past that and chalk it up to antiquity, shall we?)

Look with your eyes and hear with your ears. Am I being obvious?  Again?  How else would you look or hear?

I submit that we all spend a lot of time looking and hearing without the benefit of our eyes and ears.

Our notion of what is is consistently colored by our preconceived notions of the world around us.  Not by what we’ve experienced, but by what we’ve chosen to understand over time.  And you already know that.

What might we learn if we actually look at the world around us?  If we listen to the people around us?  Would it make our lives better or are we better off clinging to what we “know” to be real?

Naturally, we all nod our heads and say, “Yes, we need to listen and learn.  We need to understand.”

But I’m not sure we believe it.

Our preconceived notions – the things we know to be true that ain’t necessarily true – can be comforting, and they’re often hard to walk away from.  But there’s freedom in walking away from them.

We used to know the world was flat.

We used to know the sun revolved around the earth.

We used to know bad air, not germs, caused disease.

The list of things I’ve known that turned out not to be actual fact could fill volumes.  I’m guessing the same is true for you.

Some things we have to take on faith, because most of us aren’t quite bright enough to know everything  (no matter how much of a know-it-all we seem).  For instance, I “know” that when I flip the little switch on the wall the light will come on.  I “know” when I walk up the ramp to the airplane, several hours later I’ll walk back down the ramp halfway across the continent.  I “know” that about a day after I start taking the pills my doctor prescribed my sore throat will feel better.

Now, all those things are demonstrably true, and I’ve come to trust them, regardless of the reality that I have absolutely no idea how any of them work behind the curtain.  If I stop to think about any of them (as I am as I write this) each of the three seem ridiculous.

I’ll touch a little piece of plastic and the dark room will become like day?  That massive hunk of steel is going to fly?  Millions of tiny little bugs have invaded my body, are making my throat hurt, and if I take one of these little pills every day for the next week they’ll go away?

Riiiiiiight.

But I have looked with my eyes and seen with my ears, so to speak, and have learned that those things are true.

There’s a fine line to be walked in this regard.  We’re bombarded with messages about what other people would like us to accept as truth, and none of us have the time or the talent to test everything personally.  Living in the modern world requires that we are comfortable with some level of ambiguity.  It’s important that we know, however, where the ambiguity must end, and where the knowledge of our own experience must come into play.

We can observe much about our world, but we have to take a lot of the world on faith.  The trick is to learn to be discerning.  To embrace skepticism, but not allow creeping cynicism.

What do we know that isn’t true?  How much better can we live by opening our eyes and ears to actually know the things we know?

“Son of man, look with your eyes, and hear with your ears, and set your mind upon all that I shall show you.”

Greetings from Uptown Charlotte, North Carolina, Skippers.  I’ve been here since Wednesday for a conference, which means I don’t have weigh-in data for you.

What I do have for you is an endorsement.  As longtime readers know, I like to complain about the paucity of healthy food away from home.  This week, Jason’s Deli has helped me get past that.  One thing you should understand about Jason’s Deli is that it is specifically not a deli in the classic sense.  When I hear the word deli, I think of this or possibly this.  This ain’t those.

What it is is a chain sandwich maker/salad bar/cafeteria with a commitment to fresh, organic actual food.

I’m a fan of the local Gainesville location, and can’t recommend their salad bar enough.  For those of you who aren’t skipping dessert, you can even enjoy their complimentary ice cream without worrying about high fructose corn syrup, because they don’t use the stuff at all.

Yesterday we had lunch on our own here at the conference, and I was fairly certain there weren’t going to be a lot of healthy, tasty options available.  And then I saw the Jason’s Deli sign down the block. I’m proud to have walked past the pizza parlor, the two sports bars and a variety of other siren-song bad-food establishments and made it Jason’s beautiful green salad bar.

So, find yourself a Jason’s and enjoy.

Next Friday, back to my regularly scheduled weigh-in.

Thanks, as always, for reading.

Yes, it’s Wednesday already.  No, I don’t know what happened to the first half of the week.  I do know there are some simple, but not obvious, food traps many of us find ourselves in.  Here are five ways you might be sabotaging your weight loss without realizing it.

1.)  Corn.  I know.  You might think it’s a vegetable.  After all, they sell it with the other vegetables.  But it’s not.  It’s a grain. A grass, actually.  And it can come and get your metabolism just like a big ‘ol Wonder Bread sandwich.  No, it’s not the worst thing in the world, and it has lots of fiber.  Just trust me.  Easy on the corn.

2.)  Popcorn.  Yes, I just covered corn.  This subset of corn gets a lot of us in trouble.  Leaving aside the overwhelming temptation to pour a strange butter-like substances all over it before you eat it, have you noticed that when you finally stop eating the popcorn, your belly already hurts?  OK, sure, this doesn’t apply to YOU.  But it applies to the rest of us.  Easier to not buy that super-sized bucket of popcorn than to try being mindful about it in the middle of the second reel.

3.)  Mashed Potatoes.  Yep. I believe that you only intend to have a forkful or two.  But it never works out that way, does it?  Tell you what:  If you make it yourself and start from scratch – big ‘ol dusty potatoes, a peeler and potful of boiling water – you can eat as much of this as you want.  No boxes of “instant.”

4.)  Fruit Juice.  It’s not fruit.  It’s sweetened water.  Yes, it’s (a lot) better for you than soda.  No, it’s not as healthy as water.  Or actual fruit. Check out the label and then check out how much you’re actually drinking.  Do your own math.

5.)  Coffee.  Well, not the actual coffee.  The stuff you put in it.  I don’t know what the percentage of people who drink their coffee black might be, but I’m pretty sure there’s a reason the Publix stocks so much half-and-half.  I’m especially guilty of this one (and “guilty” is the wrong term, I just can’t find the right term right now), so I’m trying to only add it to my first cup these days.

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If you’re doing just fine and still ingesting all of the above, more power to you!  I haven’t said this for a few weeks, so let me remind you that I am NOT preaching at you.  But if you’re looking for some hints about what might be holding you back, weight-loss-wise, think about these.

As always, thanks for reading.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

Old friends, family members and anyone who’s ever seen my office, having read that sentence, are laughing hysterically.

Traditional organization has never, to put it mildly, been a strong suit of mine.

For many long years I was – honestly – tormented by a desire to become one of those people whose desks exhibit no unfiled papers, no uncapped pens, no books out of place.  I read books, I attended seminars.  I made a hundred really great starts at being one of those people.

And a hundred times I failed.

That, you see, is just not who I am.  And that’s OK.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

Here’s something true I’ve learned:  Your desk is not a reflection of your mind.  Yes, I know, that’s not what the organization industry wants you to believe.  If you are the sort of person who is naturally inclined to keeping a perfect desk, if filing systems come easy to you and the process feeds you, please carry on.

But if you’re spending your (infinitely valuable) time reading books about better filing systems or paying people to make you feel bad about the papers on top of your desk, please allow me to give you permission to go on about your business.

Unless you are one of those folks who organize other people for a living, I suggest that you have more important things to do with your time than worry about your desk looking ready to appear in a TV drama.

Now, I’m not telling you to let paper pile up until it blocks your exit. We don’t want the fire marshal involved.  You know you need a base level of filing and organization, but you only need the level that allows you to meet the challenges of your work, whatever that work may be.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

The one place where you must be organized is in your mind. Start there.

Your values and the priorities informed by them need to be clear to you.  If you’re spending your time worrying about how disorganized your filing system might be, you’re spending mental and emotional capital – and time – on things that, in the great scheme of things, don’t matter.

I want you to spend the limited time you’ve been given on things that do matter.  On things that move your life forward.

Organize your mind first.  Take ten minutes a day to actually consider what matters to you.   A great life isn’t about efficiency, it’s about finding a way to be … great.  It’s about giving yourself a chance to simply be, and from that state of being be better.  Over and over again.

If we settle for the efficiency of a clean desk (again, I’m speaking for the unwashed masses of us whose proverbial desks are not clean) and consider that some sort of achievement, I submit that our goals are dangerously low.  And I believe our goals are dangerously low.

A place for everything and everything in its place.

What place does work occupy in your mind?  Is work outside its place?  Has work been “mis-filed” into your “family” file drawer?

I don’t know about you, but I’m often guilty of this mental mis-filing.  It’s the classic mistake of modern western society – the “work” priority gets scattered across all our other priorities until we can’t figure out where it honestly fits into our values system.

We open the subconscious “health” folder, and there, staring back at us, is a page that says, “Stay at your cubicle and finish the TPS report.”  Sometimes we stay and finish the TPS report, sometimes we leave and go to the gym.  Either way, we’re treated to a little cognitive dissonance, and maybe a side of guilt.

Sometimes it works the other way, and “health” or “family” or some other file ends up where work should be.  That’s no less a mistake.

The key is to organize your mind.  Set aside regular time for keeping your priorities – and your actions – in line with your values.  Make it a regular appointment, if you need to, for as long as you need to, until it becomes second nature for you.

A place for everything, and everything in its place.

On March 9, 2011, I weighed 287 pounds, and felt like every ounce of it.  Maybe more.  Today, almost a year later, I weighed-in at 259.

I’m pretty happy with having lost 28 pounds in a year.  It’s (very much) not the pound-a-week pace I hoped for, but it’s steady, and it’s staying off without a whole lot of work.  The goal is still 207, which is, interestingly enough, 52 pounds from here – that pound-a-week pace is beckoning again.

It’s Five Things Wednesday!  We’re all busy.  I don’t know many people who claim to have a lot of free time on their hands to enjoy the good life.  In my experience, it’s easier to achieve the big goals when you see things clearly and have the correct perspective.  With that in mind, here are some things that work really well for regaining a sense of your place in the world, or at least are worth doing as often as you can:

1.)  Hold a Baby.  There’s no great secret here.  Holding babies is just really nice. If you don’t have one readily available, go volunteer to rock babies at a hospital.  Good for them, good for you.

2.)  Go to the Beach.  The real beach.  An ocean.  Not a lake.  Take your shoes off.  Then stand in the surf and look out as far as you can see.  Nothing you can do is bigger than that, and no problem you face is bigger than that.  Plus, like number one, it feels good.

3.)  Go to the Mountains.  This time keep your shoes on and climb up.  Then repeat number two above.

4.)  Call Somebody You’ve Known at Least Twenty Years.  They knew you before you were a big deal.  They’ll help you figure out what that felt like.

5.)  Make (and eat) a Dinner Your Mom Made You When You Were a Kid.  This is very much like number four, but with mac and cheese.  *Unhappy childhood? Do it anyway.  This will help you appreciate where you are now.

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What does this have to do with the overall goal of losing weight?  I’m glad you asked.  In a long, slow crawl through eighty pounds, if you don’t maintain perspective you will quit.  I do not wish to quit.

Thanks for reading, as always!

Here’s how a lack of mindfulness will bite you in the rear, calorically speaking:  This morning I was halfway through my traditional Cheerios and frozen blueberries when I noticed how truly excellent they tasted this morning.  Upon reflection I realized that instead of swimming in 2% milk, they were immersed in half and half.

I certainly did not intend to pour half and half on my cereal, I just wasn’t paying attention.

The moral of the story is, when preparing breakfast, simply prepare breakfast.  One thing at a time.

Carry on.  As you were.

I’m curious about yoga.  I don’t expect that curiosity to turn into action, of course, unless I can find a local yoga studio happy to welcome beginners at midnight or so, but still I’m curious.  I can’t think of any reason yoga wouldn’t be a good idea.

With that in mind, here are some things one should apparently expect should one pop in to a yoga class.

Here’s a thoroughly frustrating article about which is more important:  Sleep or Exercise.  This is a serious issue at Casa Ward.  As longtime readers know, my lovely wife and I have three sprightly daughters ranging from eight months to seven years of age.  We also both have jobs that could charitably be described as demanding.  And we think it’s a good idea to see each other at least a few minutes a day, even if that’s sitting next to each other in the living room typing away on our laptops.

I am not kidding at all when I say the only time available for exercise (other than the exercise inherent in keeping up with three very active younguns) is at about 5 AM.  And since I normally get to bed around midnight, that leaves five hours of sleep. I’m not good with that.

The article, despite it’s promises, was no help at all.  The answer, according to the author, is, “it depends.”  Duh.  I already knew that.

Go forth and read.  Back with you in a couple of days for Five Things Wednesday!

Thanks for reading, as always.  Also, a big thank you for all the pleasant feedback about the blog in general and the Sunday intentional living series in particular.  I really appreciate you taking time to let me know you’re on-board!

“Ya gotta eat …”

So said a long-running ad for a regional burger chain.  As unlikely as I am to drive through that chain, they had a point.

Feed yourself

If you’re going to make great things happen – or even if what you have in mind is just to be – you’re going to have to get fed.

And I mean that in every way you can imagine.  Feed your belly.  Feed your mind. Feed your heart and your soul.

Start with your belly.  Put the right fuel in your body.  Regular readers know that’s the original point of this blog, and it holds true with this intentional living series as well.

I’ll quote my go-to food guy, Michael Pollan here:  “Eat food.  Not too much, mostly plants.” Also, “Don’t eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food.”

Read the label, and don’t eat chemicals you can’t pronounce.  Strike that.  Just don’t eat chemical additives at all if you can avoid it.

Why?  Think of your body as a machine.  If you had a high-performance sports car that required premium gasoline would you routinely pump it full of the cheap low-octane stuff?  Not if you wanted it to keep running.

Your body works the same way.  Buy quality food.  Food cooked in a healthy way.  Don’t eat food you know to be bad for you, and don’t try to fool yourself by eating fake food.  Your body is smarter than that, and your body knows when you’re trying to fool it.

Put good fuel in your belly and your body will have a chance to simply be better.  Give your body that chance.

Feed yourself.

What do you feed your mind?

If you’re feeding your mind junk, nobody could blame you.  The world we live in – at the least the world most of us live in – wants your mind filled with junk for some reason.  I won’t speculate on motives, but if you’ve watched a TV “news” morning show or “reality” television … if you’ve scanned the AM talk radio dial … if you’ve read the headlines in national – or local – newspapers … you know it’s true.

The world wants your mind working at about half-speed.  It wants you thinking about Snooki, not Socrates.  It wants you dreaming about fake political arguments with as much substance as fake food.  It wants you worried about the personal lives of people you’ll never meet as you neglect your own.  Don’t let the world tell you what to think about.

I’m not telling you to build a mental cocoon and live away from the world.  You’re (almost certainly) not a monastic devotee.  I’m certainly not.  You live in the world, and there’s nothing wrong with indulging in pop culture as long as you intentionally give your mind the same sort of nutrition you give your belly.

I don’t need to tell you what to feed your mind.  You know.  That’s an easier answer than what to put in your belly.  Read the great works.  Challenge yourself.  Force your mind open and fill it.

But recognize that the world around you – pop culture – can work hand in hand with the great works to add flavor to what you feed your mind.  The challenging work will help you understand the mundane.  It gives meaning to the world, instead of just letting the world wash over you and carry you along in a meaningless current.

Feed Yourself

How do you feed your heart?

I think you know I’m not talking about that big muscle inside your chest. No, I’m talking about the elusive – and I believe eternal – part of you that makes you, you.  How do you nourish your soul?

The first step is … has to be … to recognize that it exists.  That you are more than the sum of your parts, that rather than just a lump of flesh and bone, you are extraordinary.  You matter.  Against enormous odds, you are here.  You exist.  There has to be a reason for that.  Start feeding your soul by not turning your back on the enormity of that.

Be intentional about recognizing yourself.  Give yourself permission to be.  Remind yourself that you have a place in the universe, and since that is true, you also have a purpose, a mission.  Feed your soul by finding that mission, and by working at it relentlessly.

Feed your soul by seeking out art, and allowing yourself to create your own.  By seeking the wisdom of the ages, and sharing that wisdom with others.  By opening yourself to love, and nurturing its blossom over and over and over until it overwhelms you.

Give yourself the chance to be overwhelmed – by art, by wisdom, and most importantly, by love – and your soul will be fed.

Feed yourself.

It’s obvious, and it’s incredibly difficult.  It requires constant mindfulness – intention – to put the right food in your belly.  To put the right thoughts in your head.  To put the right beauty in your heart and your soul.

Am I there?  No way.  Not by a longshot.  But I work at it.  If you’ve been reading the blog, you already know how I’m working on the care and feeding of my belly.  I’m telling you now I think it’s just as important to take care of my mind and my soul.  And I’m working on it.

Ya gotta eat.  It’s true.  But you get to choose what goes into your body, your mind and your soul.

What are you feeding yourself?