Do. Not. Eat. This.

It’s (still) Monday, and I have prepared your reading assignments.  With my editorial remarks, as always.

First up, the article that inspired the headline above.  I had never heard of shirataki noodles before today, and I kind of wish I never had.  They’re billed as a calorie-free substitute for regular pasta.

Now, if you’re a regular reader, you probably know how I feel about substitute food already.  If you want pasta, eat pasta, just be reasonable.  That way you won’t walk away from the table thinking, “Damn, I still have a taste for pasta,” and end up standing over your kitchen sink at midnight eating a plate of the pasta you were craving in the first place (What?  That’s just me?  Oh.  Sorry).

Food is supposed to have calories.  Without calories, it’s probably not anything Great Grandma Hortence would recognize as “food,” and Michael Pollan and I don’t condone such a thing.

This stuff, which is apparently a growing trend in diet circles, is a tortured yam derivative.  The key sentences from the article:

The noodles are made from konjac yams, processed to be edible but indigestible. You can eat them, but your body extracts no nutrition from them at all. (To wit: In the United States, the same fiber is given to treat constipation, and apparently, in Japan, they’re known as a “broom for the stomach.”)

If the phrase, “broom for the stomach” weren’t enough to scare you away from the this latest miracle diet garbage, the writer also reports that it is flavorless and has a decidedly non-pasta texture.

Again, I say, Do. Not. Eat. This.

Moving on, here’s something to not drink:  Sugary soda.  Coca-Cola, to be specific.  I do want to point out to you that they’re working on selling you dietary supplements at the sight this article comes from.  But it’s a good piece and the information is right-on.

My favorite sentence from this article:  “Don’t drink cola if you want to be healthy.”  That says it all, but go read it anyway, ’cause it should sp00k you out of drinking this stuff anymore.  Or letting your kids drink this stuff anymore.

Thanks for reading, as always.  Interesting food note of the day:  I’ve always thought it was affected BS when people told me they “forgot” to eat lunch.  You know, just showing off how much self-control is at their disposal.  I can report to you that I now know it is possible to forget to eat lunch.  I did today.  Just worked right on through it and didn’t realize until I got home that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

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3 responses to this post.

  1. As usual…great stuff Harvey. Those noodles sound GROSS!! And I’m one of those people who grew up on pasta. Isn’t it one of the food groups?? LOL!!

    Reply

  2. Posted by Amy on December 20, 2011 at 9:00 am

    “Tortured Yam Derivative” is going to be the title of my first novel. Thank you.

    Reply

  3. Posted by hlward on December 20, 2011 at 1:45 pm

    It would be a fine name for a band as well.

    Reply

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