Some People Just Don’t Get It.

Like, for instance, this jackass.  He set out, a while back, to prove to the world that the only thing that matters in a weight-loss regimen is the math:  burn more calories than you take in.  So he cut his daily caloric intake to 1,800.  Most of which he obtained through, apparently, Twinkies, Doritos and Oreos.  And yes, he lost weight.

To his credit he’s apparently been able to keep it off.  But here’s why the point he “proved” is a slap in the face to people trying to manage their weight responsibly:  Some of us, Dr. Haub, can’t eat just one.  And let’s face it, if your total caloric intake is less than 2,000 calories, you ain’t gonna get many Twinkies. One (1) Twinkie is 150 calories – and they come packs of two, which means somebody with less-than-perfect will-power is going to consume 300 calories when they open a package of Twinkies.

I don’t know if you’ve ever eaten a pack of Twinkies, but I have to tell you, they aren’t particularly filling.  He says he ate one every three hours, plus other snacks.  Let’s say he started at 9 AM and ate one every three hours through 9 PM.  That’s 750 calories, and nearly nothing in his stomach.  Let’s say he added two handfuls of Doritos every day.  That’s another 280 calories.

Maybe he added a couple of Oreos and a bowl of Honeycomb cereal just to round-out the days snacking.  There’s 310 more calories.  Which leaves 460 calories for the protein shake and vegetables he says he consumed.

A reasonable person isn’t FULL after eating that amount of food.  It rings the calorie register too quickly, and there’s no bulk, no satisfaction to the “meal.”

Perhaps he’s one of those rare folks who can eat a couple of Oreos and just walk away.  Or perhaps I’m the strange one.  But here’s what happens when I eat an Oreo:  I eat another Oreo.  And then another and another.  And then I start looking around to be sure nobody sees the fat guy eating the next ten or fifteen Oreos.  And you know what?  I think there are more of me than there are of him.

As I referenced in this post, there’s actual research to back up my point that bad food is engineered to make you want more bad food.  So this guy is effectively telling people – many of whom are desperately trying to get healthy – that there’s no difference between an all-Twinkies-all-the-time approach and the Michael Pollan approach.  But there is.

Yes, he tries to back off from it by saying he doesn’t know what the right answer is.  Really?  Seriously?  You think the right answer has anything to do with Doritos?  That’s simply disingenuous, and worse, it’s harmful.  Because I’ll promise you there’s somebody reading the CNN article about him and thinking, “Alright!  I CAN eat junk food and lose weight.”  And a year from now that person is going to blame themselves, and not this jackass. And that’s inexcusable.

Two housekeeping items:  First, I’m stuck at 262.  That’s 25 pounds in 25 weeks.  Gotta pick up the pace or I’ll be OFF pace … and that won’t be good.

Second, see those little pictures of the Facebook, Twitter, Google and other icons?  Click those.  Share the blog if you enjoy it.  Thanks!

Promises, Promises

I keep promising posts to y’all that never materialize.  In an effort to catch up a bit, today I’ll feature a couple of articles sent by friends-of-the-blog over the past month with my commentary.

First, you’re familiar with Dole bananas, right?  (No, this is not political commentary)  The Chair of the Dole Food Company, David H. Murdock, wrote this piece a while back about his path to healthier eating.  It’s important to note that this is a particularly wealthy person, with essentially unlimited food options, including, one assumes, somebody to do his shopping and his cooking.  So what’s realistic for him may not work for the rest of us.

But it’s actually quite sensible.  Very much like the oft-mentioned (here at least) Michael Pollan‘s practice, “Eat food.  Not too much.  Mostly plants.”  He advocates lots of fruits (hey, put that skepticism away), vegetables and nuts, as well as fish.  And the guy’s an 88-year-old who doesn’t even take aspirin, so who’s to argue with his prescription? This post is his “the healthiest foods on earth” list.

The thing I like most about Murdock’s approach is that he points out – up front – that he hasn’t always eaten this way, but that he’s been committed to it for decades now.  That’s a model I can support.

Second, I offer this article at your own risk.  You may find it helpful, but I have a bone or two to pick with it.  It’s a “foods to avoid” article, and I have no problem with that … as regular readers know I have plenty of foods I’d rather you and I both avoid as well.  I just disagree with this list.

It’s right about fried food.  You’re not going to lose weight eating the Colonel’s drumsticks or anything else that comes out of a deep fryer.  But that’s where we part ways.  We need flavor in our food.  Without flavor we’re not likely to eat much – or well.  You just have to use common sense and moderation.  No, don’t eat rich sauces and pork shoulder at every meal, but if you cut them out of your diet, well, you’re just “on a diet.”  And that’s going to fail.

But read the article.  At the very least it helps keep you thinking critically – intentionally – about your nutrition.

 

Plodding Along

I was going to call this post “Slouching Toward a Healthy Weight,” but I just couldn’t make it work.  I do feel as if I’m slouching, or maybe plodding, toward the goal.  I’m grateful to be making progress, I really am.  but a pound a week is a long, slow slog.

The good news:  262 this morning.  If you’re keeping score, that’s 25 pounds in 24 weeks.  So I’m still ahead of schedule, and I’m finally breaking new ground.  Which I haven’t done since the middle of July.  It also means – and regular readers will know this before I get there – I’m still in the 260’s.  Argh.

I will, however, continue to be grateful.  and redouble my work in the days ahead.  The fact is I haven’t exactly been intentional about my eating, and life has intruded on my running this week.  Excuses are just excuses – I haven’t done the work I need to be doing, and I’m lucky I didn’t GAIN weight this week.

So let’s say a heartfelt goodbye to August and plan for a more serious September.

Those of you on the eastern seaboard (Carolinas and points north), I hope you’re reading this from a cozy hotel many miles inland if you’re reading Friday, Saturday or Sunday.  Don’t push your luck with hurricanes, my friends.  This blog doesn’t have enough readers for any of you to play games with Miss Irene.

If You Talk About it Enough …

This past Friday was “meet the teacher” day for Sprightly Daughter 1, a rising first grader.  We decided, she and I, that it would be fun to have lunch after said meeting and before returning her to the Y for the afternoon.  Thursday evening, in preparation, she wrote up a list of possible local eateries in one of her many journals so, you know, we wouldn’t have to waste time thinking about it on Friday.

After leaving school, full of the promise of the Best School Year Evah, we hopped in the car and went through the (comprehensive) list she had prepared.  We decided Tasty Buddha, our go-to family place, would be the best choice, and off we went.  On the way, she saw a big red sign that read, “Five Guys.”

“Dad, why are there five guys in that building?”

“Huh?”

“Over there.  That red sign.  It says ‘five guys'”.

“Oh, yeah, that’s Five Guys Burgers and Fries.”

“Hey, that rhymes.  I get it.  Do they just have burgers and fries?”

“Yes, but all kinds of burgers and really good french fries. Do you want to go there instead of Buddha?”

“No.  Fries aren’t healthy.  We can get food that’s good for us at Buddha, and it tastes good.”

Now, I should point out that my Lovely Wife and I talk a lot about healthy eating options, and Sprightly Daughters 1 and 2 are quite good at asking questions about what constitutes healthy food – and why – and they’ve come to know pretty well when they’re eating junk (which doesn’t always stop them, nor should it).

Even in that context, however, it was heartening to know that she gets it, at least so far, and occasionally.  And that she was lookin’ out for ol’ Dad in my moment of weakness.  ‘Cause I wanted me a big bag of Five Guys fries.

By the way, if you’re a Gainesvillian, or just passin’ through and looking for a good meal, you could do a lot worse than Tasty Buddha (formerly known as Buddha Belly) – either location.  Also, it’s owned by friend of the blog Parker Van Hart.  And yes, Parker, you can use this true story in your advertising if you ever need to hammer the guys across the street.

One Pound a Week …

A pound a week.  That’s what I promised myself, and that’s what I’m getting.

Today, weigh-in Friday, I’m at 263.  That’s 24 pounds in 23 weeks.  BO-ring.  But it’s the safe, logical, keep-it-off path.  So I embrace it.

But BOY do I want to get out of the 260’s.  I am reminded that while running is going to be particularly helpful as the weeks go by, in the early term it wakes up my leg muscles, making them stronger.  And stronger muscles get bigger.  And weigh more.  So while it’s nice to be building lean muscle mass, I know it’s holding the number on the scale back a little (for now).

Such is life.  Waahh.

Crazy week.  Missed writing.  Especially since, as we discovered last week, the blog is magic, and in weeks where I write a lot I lose more weight.

Thanks for checking in.

There’s More Than One Answer to These Questions …

Yeah, the Indigo Girls probably weren’t singing about weight loss, but work with me here.  Losing weight over a long period of time is indeed a crooked line … and there’s certainly more than one answer to the question, “How do I get from big, round me to skinny(ier), fit me?”

What works one week doesn’t always work the next.  What fails for several weeks in a row might all of a sudden help me drop five pounds.

The past three weeks have been a hell of a crooked line when it comes to this project of mine.  You may remember how giddy I was to be down 24 pounds in 19 weeks.  And you followed me up a pound the following week, before the wheels fell off on vacation and I ended up backsliding all the way up to 270 pounds.

If you’ve followed along this week, you know I’ve started exercising, and I’m here to tell you I’m back on track nutritionally.  Neither of which honestly accounts for the fact that this morning I weighed in back at 264.  That’s 23 pounds in 22 weeks.  Which is not as good as it was a few weeks ago, but it’s “ahead of schedule” and it’s six pounds in a week.

But I don’t think it was the food or the exercise.  You know what I think it was?  The blog.  I wrote five posts here since my last weigh-in.  The blog is magic, people.

And I’m only half-kidding.  Writing about the process makes me think about the process.  It brings it front-and-center – “top of mind” – as they say.  It makes me take the whole process more seriously … more intentionally.  Which is the whole point.

Like I said.

More than one answer.

Why Doesn’t Lands’ End Want Me Anymore?

Lands’ End* doesn’t seem to want me anymore.  Neither does LL Bean.  Brooks Brothers still cares, but for how long I don’t know.

Wal-Mart and Target want me, but their sartorial embrace is clammy and disposable.

I realize fashion – even men’s fashion – changes.  I’m OK with that.  Ties get wide, ties get skinny.  Pleats are in, pleats are out.  Three buttons one year, two the next.  But my old, dear friends at Lands’ End and LL Bean have decided American men need to be skinny.  Really skinny.  And not particularly muscular.

In the meantime every paper I pick up tells me that American men are really quite round.  More than we should be (hence this blog).  I’m working on becoming fit, but you know what?  I could lose another hundred pounds and my bones are still going to be bigger than that ol’ boy modeling clothes for LL Bean.  And I’m not the only one.

These two clothiers – Lands’ End and Bean – used to be my go-to catalogs.  I could count on them for clothes that a.) fit and b.) lasted.  And didn’t require the bulk of my paycheck.  There are still a few items they provide that fit the bill (more Bean than LE).  I’m wearing a favorite pair of Bean khakis right now.  But (to illustrate) I recently bought a Lands’ End Hyde Park oxford button down – in the correct size – that simply didn’t fit.  The Hyde Park line at LE used to be comparable to the original oxford button down at Brooks Brothers, only (much) cheaper.  They were both, to be blunt, wide enough.  They had room to move.  The cloth is still nice and heavy, traditionally so, but by the time my belly can comfortably fit into the LE Hyde Park my neck will swim in it.  Brooks is still proportional, thank goodness.

Clearly both Bean and Lands End want to be Banana Republic.  Which makes no sense – particularly for LL Bean.  Bean is and has been for many years a trusted and distinctive brand.  Why do they want to swim in the small pond that is skinny urban men in their 20’s?  I look at their catalogs and websites and realize they don’t want my business anymore.  And I’m not alone.

My body is big.  It will still be big after I reach my target weight.  I hope before I get there – and need a new wardrobe – my old friends at Lands’ End and LL Bean will have come to their senses and started selling clothes that fit me, like they used to.

Here endeth the rant/eulogy.

* Yes, I know the apostrophe in Lands’ End is in the wrong place.  That’s part of their branding, not poor grammar on my part.

Five Reasons Running is My Preferred Exercise

In the triumphant return of Five-Things-Wednesday after a tw0-week hiatus I discuss the reasons I prefer running to other forms of contrived exercise.  Make no mistake, I’d rather not exercise at all, but I recognize that as a white-collar kinda guy I’m not going to reach my fitness goals without some form of contrived exercise.  And running is that exercise for the following reasons:

1.)  I actually go somewhere.  I can’t stand stationary bikes, stair climbers, elliptical machines (what the hell does that even mean?), etc.  Because they make you work and sweat … and you stay in one place.  They are, by definition, stationary.  Which makes them the epitome of contrived exercise in my opinion.  Running is still contrived (I’m not actually running from or to anything, after all), but at least I put some distance behind me.   This is, by the way, one of the biggest reasons I don’t like NASCAR – the idea of driving a car 500 miles and never leaving Daytona is mind-boggling to me.

2.)  I get to be part of the world around me.  It’s easy to take for granted, but the pace of running (especially my particularly slow pace) is ideal for actually seeing the stuff in my neighborhood without standing and ogling.  Soon I’ll know where all the dead birds, illicit garbage piles and hidden fences on Glen Springs Road are.  If I were doing anything in the gym I wouldn’t see anything but bad TV and a lot of people in infinitely better condition than me.  If I were biking I’d have to pay attention to other, bigger vehicles.  If I were swimming I’d be way too focused on not drowning to even see the sides of the pool.

3.)  It’s cheap.  And so am I.  Running (and yes, walking) is the least expensive exercise I know of.  Invest in a good pair of shoes and you’re in bidness.  Sure, there are gadgets and accessories you can add, but all you need is the shoes.

4.)  It’s portable.  Referring back to number three above, all you need is the shoes.  Which are a lot easier to pack than a bike or golf clubs.  When I used to run regularly I brought my shoes on business travel and as a consequence (referring back to number two above) I got see some really cool things in Denver, Austin and Fargo, just to name a few.  No, really, Fargo was interesting.  Stop laughing.

5.)  It’s removes the desire to sing along with Mick Jagger.   When I’m walking I find myself singing along, playing a little air-guitar, pumping my fists, etc., as I listen to my exercise playlist.  Which looks really stupid.  That’s not a problem when I’m running, because all my attention is focused on silly things like breathing.  And yes, I know that to exercise safely I should be able to carry on a conversation comfortably while I run, to which I respond, “Not with these lungs.”  At my most fit that wasn’t possible.  It’s darn sure not possible right now.

I noticed when I posted this that this is my 52nd post on Skipping Dessert.  Which means that post number 50, a nice, round milestone kind of number, was my running shoes haiku.  Which sort of opens the door to the exercise portion of my weight-loss path.  Interesting how things happen that way.

More Than Just Poetry

In case you were wondering, yes, those running shoes in yesterday’s post were brand-new.

And now they’re not.

Saturday evening I bought my first pair of running shoes since before the first sprightly daughter was born, more than six years ago.  Sunday afternoon I considered putting off their inaugural voyage (Yes, voyage.  It’s OK to admit that entire families of refugees could float to freedom’s shore in one of my shoes.) for another day,but sprightly daughters one and two started incorporating them into their games and I thought I’d better claim them as my own before I lost them forever.

So if you were driving down Glen Springs Road about eight o’clock yesterday evening, yes, that was me pounding the pavement and making a sweaty fool of myself.  Mostly I walked, but I ran enough to scare the hell out of my feet, calves, right knee and left hip.

I look forward to more tonight.

My goal is to run four times a week, never more than two days in a row.  I can fit that in without shirking too many responsibilities or running too late at night. Eventually (slowly) I want to build up to three three-mile runs and one five-mile run every week.  After last night’s walk-three-blocks-run-one performance, it’s clearly going to take some time to get there.

My favorite thing about running continues to be having run, not actually running.  Some things never change.

Hey, Look. Running Shoes.

 

 

Hello Sauconies.

Be kind to my knees, ok?

No shin splints, I pray.